TRLW #001: Are You Scared of Being Seen?

Welcome to The Road Less Written—your bi-weekly writing guide to build a compelling online presence.

"Steve, are you scared of being seen?"

This question from a writer friend last week hit home. It reminded me of some long-standing blind spots.

Growing Up in "The Grim North"

I attended a rough high school in Leeds, Northern England.

By graduation, only about 10 students remained from our original class of 30+.

The rest?

• One was in prison

• Another pregnant

• Several expelled

• The rest simply stopped showing up.

In this culture of low expectations, trying too hard made you a target.

As John Lennon aptly put it:

The Price of Fitting In

I was a quirky sensitive kid who loved alternative music, wore Harry Potter glasses, and dressed like a skateboarder (despite not skating).

Being an easy target for bullies left me feeling insecure and alone. I was scared of being seen.

• At 14, I started smoking and drinking to "fit in."

• At 16, I gave my fashion and music taste a “mainstream makeover” when moving to a new school.

Teachers and peers took more notice. But this acceptance came at a cost:

I became a social chameleon, wearing a protective mask to fit in everywhere — but terrified of revealing my true self.

Truth meant possible further rejection.

Rediscovering Authenticity

After moving to Australia in 2011 to become a dad, I began exploring my natural curiosity.

• I quit drinking at 32 (after I quit smoking at 21).

• I started meditating and did Vipassana (10 days of silence).

• I had vicarious conversations with smart folks via listening to podcasts.

• I did Kokoro: a 50-hour crucible based on the Navy SEAL Hell Week.

• I started Jiu Jitsu.

This journey of reinvention led me to freelance writing and a profound new sense of self-awareness, echoed by William Shakespeare in Hamlet (translated):

Facing My Fears

My empathy makes me a good interviewer, writer, and conversationalist in social settings.

Then another writer called me out on it last week: “Steve, are you scared of being seen?”

Despite writing on LinkedIn since March 2023, I had to admit: Yes, I am. But I'm working on it.

I’m getting better at letting the walls down. And I can’t control whether someone likes me.

Embracing Your Quirks

Another (more woo) ghostwriter recently read my astrology birth chart. 

“Steve, lean into your quirks,” she said. “You’ll make more money. Your ‘karmic debt’ is to be the provider.” 

So, I'm taking her advice and sharing more of my true self. I hope this encourages you to do the same.

Your Turn

What limiting beliefs stop you from publishing your stories, insights, and experiences?

How much money are you leaving on the table if you don’t fix this?

If you’re feeling imposter syndrome, here’s my #1 piece of advice after writing 245 LinkedIn posts (1.3M+ views): 

Nobody cares → They’re busy doing their own thing.

(But the right people will care.) 

So write and hit post. Your unique voice deserves to be heard.

Steve “Be Seen” Costello

P.S. I’m planning to host a 60-min storytelling workshop for $47.

- I'll break down 3 of my recent top-performing LinkedIn stories.
- We'll also write a story together.
- You’ll build real skills and leave with a solid post outline.

Reply “story” and I’ll add you to the list.