TRLW #011: Unrelenting Standards Undermine Your Content

Welcome to The Road Less Written—your monthly writing guide to building a magnetic digital presence.

This newsletter will explore:

1. Why posting is hard (especially if you grew up pre-internet).

2. The hidden rules keeping you stuck (plus a quick quiz).

3. How to break perfectionism and write with ease.

4. A simple framework for posting consistently (without overthinking).

5. Case study: How a lawyer landed 4 leads in 60 days—with just 2K followers.

If this email was forwarded to you, subscribe here.

Posting Is Hard (Especially If You Grew Up Pre-Internet)   

I’m currently working with a company to rewrite their team’s LinkedIn profiles for a unified brand message. Apart from the founder, no one on the team has ever posted.

It reminded me how confronting it can be to put yourself out there—your thoughts, your experiences, your expertise—for strangers to judge.

Especially if you grew up pre-internet. 

Life was simpler and slower. You communicated in person. Public expression belonged to a select few—journalists, authors, speakers, etc. If you had something to say, you had to convince a gatekeeper (a TV producer, newspaper editor, or publisher) that it was worth sharing. Most people never did.

Now, anyone can publish in seconds. For some, it’s liberating. For others, it’s terrifying.

• What if old employers see it?

• What if strangers judge it?

• What if friends laugh?

But it’s not just overthinking. It’s deeper and will be triggered by writing on LinkedIn: Schemas. 

The Invisible Rules Keeping You Stuck (Plus a Quiz)

Schemas—also called life traps—are deeply ingrained false beliefs about yourself and the world. Formed in childhood and reinforced over time, they create invisible rules shaping your actions—even when they no longer serve you. 

Sigmund Freud called this repetition compulsion—the unconscious urge to repeat past patterns, even when harmful.

I touched on this in Issue #009: Your Limiting Beliefs Block Your Content. Since then, I’ve been doing bi-monthly schema therapy. Talk therapy wasn’t enough—I wanted deeper insights into recurring life patterns. The experience has been like putting on HD glasses—suddenly, I can see what once felt off. 

If you struggle to post online, you might have a life trap/schema called “Unrelenting Standards.” (I’ll cover more life traps in future newsletters.)

If you scored high: You hold yourself to impossibly high standards. Others see you as successful. You take it for granted. You’re just meeting expectations. 

No matter what you achieve, it never feels like enough. You’re always pushing your limits. At your core, you’re uncomfortable unless you’re striving. Progress fuels you, but satisfaction remains elusive.

Early in my career, I won a national teaching award. Sat next to future PM Boris Johnson at the ceremony. Worked myself to exhaustion and grey hair in my 20s to get it. But when I was handed the award, I felt... nothing.

This pattern often starts in childhood.

• Love felt conditional on achievement.

• Expectations were impossibly high.

• Anything less than perfect was a failure.

Perfectionism became a shield against deeper fears—of not feeling good enough, included enough, or loved enough.

This is Unrelenting Standards. 

Your core belief becomes: "My content must be perfect, or it’s not worth sharing."

• You draft posts but never hit publish.

• You obsess over wording and formatting.

• You wait for the “perfect” moment that never comes.

• You see others post effortlessly and wonder why it feels so much harder for you.

The same mindset that drove your success in traditional careers now cripples your online presence.

How to Break Perfectionism and Write with Ease

"Your life trap is a rock which you must chip away with a hammer." — Jeffrey Young

Unrelenting Standards feel like truth. But they’re just old stories—deeply ingrained patterns that seem impossible to break. Like any addiction or bad habit, escaping them requires a willingness to face pain.

As the therapy saying goes, “The only way out is through.”

John Bradshaw put it best in Healing the Shame That Binds You: 

"Most of our neurotic behavior is due to the avoidance of legitimate pain… the more we avoid it, the worse it gets."

Here are five mindset shifts that helped me break free:

1. Shift from publishing to sharing. Publishing feels final. Sharing invites engagement and evolution.

2. Quantity leads to quality. Every post doesn’t need to be a masterpiece. It’s social media, not the Pulitzer Prize. Writing is a craft—you improve by doing, not perfecting.  

3. Raw, human content often performs better. Some of my best posts I almost didn’t publish—they felt too short, too imperfect, too vulnerable, or too embarrassing.

4. No one cares as much as you think. People are busy. Even PR disasters are usually forgotten in 72 hours. The news cycle moves on. Don’t let your inner traitor talk you out of posting. 

5. Marinate in the small win. Before rushing to the next task, pause. Breathe it in. Let yourself feel the satisfaction of meaningful progress. Remember: The only way out is through.

Simple Steps to Start Posting (Without Overthinking)

If you don't know what to write about on LinkedIn:

1. Record every idea. Use Apple Notes, a journal, or a voice memo. Inspiration strikes when your mind is in a relaxed Alpha state. Capture it.

2. Brain dump everything. Get all your thoughts out. No filtering or editing.

3. Ensure it connects to your product/service. Your content should align with your expertise.

4. Decide the takeaway. What should the reader feel or understand? 

5. Cut anything that doesn’t serve step 4. Cut the fat. 

6. Ensure logical flow. Each word and sentence should build toward your point.

7. Sharpen the hook and last line. Readers skim. The first line must grab. The last must reinforce.

8. Get feedback. Ask ChatGPT (or a human editor) for a second opinion.  

9. Read it aloud. You’ll catch awkward phrasing and typos.

10. Publish. Don’t overthink. Challenge your life trap.  "The obstacle is the way." — Ryan Holiday

Case Study: The Power of a Second Opinion 

How a law firm owner generated 4 qualified leads in 60 days—with just 2,106 LinkedIn followers.

First, I rewrote his LinkedIn profile. (It's a shop window, designed to attract ideal clients.)

Now, I edit his posts—refining his deep expertise into engaging content. We go back and forth, shaping each post—like a songwriting partnership.

In just 2 months, with 1 one post per week, he’s generated 4 significant inbound leads.

Why it's working:

1. He’s crystal clear on his ideal client.

2. His offer speaks directly to their needs and challenges.

3. His content addresses their pain points and desires.

4. (Most importantly) he’s fully invested in the process.

Results come from the thinking before writing. A second opinion turns good ideas into high-impact content.

Final Thought

Life traps like Unrelenting Standards feel safe because they’re familiar. But they keep you stuck.

Your best work isn’t blocked by skill. It’s blocked by fear. If you’re not showing up, the people who need your expertise can’t find you. And that means lost opportunities.

Challenge the perfectionism trap. Post anyway. Your online presence will open doors—I know because all but one of my current clients came through LinkedIn.

For a deeper dive, I recommend reading Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey Young.

I believe in you. Thanks for making it this far. 

Until next month,

Steve “Progress > Perfection” Costello 

How I Can Help

1. Ghostwriting (5M+ views driven) → I write 1 month of posts from 1 interview to attract leads for your business.

2. Your Head of Content (1.5M+ words edited since 2014) → I edit the posts you write and/or co-create ideas with you. 

Reply to this email, and let’s chat.

If this email was forwarded to you, subscribe here.